A Kiss Before Lying: A BWWM Romance Read online

  A Kiss Before Lying: A BBW Romance

  By. M. Skye

  Chapter One: Grown Ass Woman

  “I love you, Draya,” Damien hissed, running his hand down her face. He was halfway to putting his clothes on when she finally looked up to see him. She had been so lost in the moment that she had hardly realized it was about to end.

  “And yet, you’re still leaving.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she rolled her eyes and he slid down next to her. They had been having this same problem for over seven years now, and to Draya, it was getting old. Every night since she was eighteen, he had been climbing into her bed, knocking her out with mind blowing sex, and then going home to his wife. Knowing that she was always going to be second best was finally starting to wear on her.

  “You know what it is, Dray. It’s not like I want to leave.”

  Lie. He was always hot to be up in her face before sex and then once it was over, he couldn’t dip fast enough.

  “Let me guess,” she sat up with attitude boiling out of her pores. “I can’t leave right now. We have the kids, we have the business, we have the church.” Rolling her neck as she spoke, Draya noticed herself feeling even worse about the situation than she already did with her last statement. Not only was she sleeping with a married man, but he was a deacon at her childhood church.

  Growing up, Draya’s parents had always made sure she stayed in church. She was raised to love the Lord and all he stood for, and now, she finally realized how far she had fallen. Her parents were devout Christians and she tried to keep up, but after years of estrangement from them, her faith wavered in a major way. She was never overly religious, like them, but she knew right from wrong before she got involved with Mr. Wrong.

  Damien was over twenty years her senior and had been married ever since she started attending that church when she was six. They met when she was a child and even though her best friend, Brittney, said he was a nasty old bastard, she hadn’t been able to get him out of her heart. He was her first love and the only man to ever share her bed.

  “You know why I can’t leave.” Running his hand over her cheek, he leaned in for a kiss and she turned her head. “Don’t be like that, baby. You know I can’t stand to leave here and have you mad at me.” Pulling out a fresh wad of hundred dollar bills, he put them in her hand and she still didn’t turn back. “Tomorrow, go do something nice. Just make sure you have a good time.” When she was still unresponsive, he took her chin, turning her to face him. “You know I take care of my lady.

  “Which one?” she hissed and his eyes slammed shut.

  “Dray, don’t I give you all my time? I’m with you more than I’m home. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

  “It just means your wife isn’t as young as she used to be. If she was giving you as much sex as I do, you would be at home.” Watching his face contort, she knew she hit a nerve and kept going. “If she only knew that after you climb out of my bed, you go home and kiss her with the same lips and tongue you use to lick and kiss all over me, she would throw your tired ass out.”

  As soon as it slipped out of her mouth, his hand flew up and she was against the wall. So many nights their arguments started this way. They would have sex, she would call him out for going home, and he would slap her senseless. As smart as she was, Draya knew in this instance she probably seemed like the dumbest person in the world. Here she was sleeping with a married man who hit her, but she just couldn’t walk away. There was something about him that was so addictive to her. She just wasn’t strong enough to break free.

  Watching her head fly against the wall, he quickly slipped up the bed to comfort her; this was how it always went. He would swing on her and then act like he never meant to do it. Holding her breath, she knew was about to come next. “I’m sorry, baby. You just can’t... you can’t say things like that. You know how I feel about you, and every time you bring her up, you make what we have seem like nothing. I wish I could just be with you.”

  Just staring straight ahead, she nodded her head. “Okay. If that’s what you believe.” Offering one last kiss and standing off the bed before throwing another handful of money down for her, he finished getting dressed and walked to the door. While she just sat staring ahead, she heard him call out that he loved her before walking out.

  Curling up in bed, pushing the money to the floor, Draya looked down at the mess of hundred dollar bills and felt numb inside. Once again, he had managed to break her down so far that she felt cheap and dirty. She suspected that was what he meant to do to keep her coming back, and so far, he had been successful.

  Standing at six-foot-four, with smooth dark skin, a crazy fit body, sparkling brown eyes, and the most hypnotic magic stick, he was probably the most handsome man she had ever seen. She knew it shouldn’t have been enough of a reason to play the fool she had for all these years, but she couldn’t control herself around him. He was always attractive to her when she was growing up, but the years had done a lot to diminish the fantasy. The reality she faced was a controlling, jealous, abusive bastard that threw money at her like she was an annoying hoe. The truth was, she had tried to leave him many times before but he never wanted to let go.

  In the course of their seven-year affair, she tried to leave him a total of six times and each time, he promised to do better and for a few months, he would, and then once her guard was down, he would revert back to his old ways. After a while, she just got tired of fighting it, tired of fighting him. He had beaten her spirit down so bad; she just went with almost anything he said. It was just easier that way.

  Looking at Draya in the real world, people would think she had a banging personal life. She had always been told she was beautiful, and she was. Gorgeous deep brown eyes, flawless caramel skin, flowing jet black hair and a figure that rivaled most. She could attribute her figure to her workout guru best friend, Brittney, but her looks, she took those from her mother. On top of all that, she was also smart, believe it or not.

  At the age of eighteen, Draya inherited her grandfather’s restaurant, and although it was in deep financial debt, she turned it around. While no one else in her family wanted the hassle, Draya couldn’t stand for his legacy to go up in smoke. The fight to save the restaurant and looking for outside help led her back to her childhood church, and ultimately ended up landing her in the bed of a man who was once a friend of her father.

  Damien and Draya’s father, Andrew, went to school together and were pretty much inseparable until her parents met. Once her mother was in the picture, the two started to slip apart and then her parents moved when she was twelve. After years away with no contact with anyone from her old life, Draya came back to run her grandfather’s restaurant and was alienated by the rest of her family in the process. She never understood what was so wrong with stepping up, but she just wasn’t content to walk away.

  Here she was, seven years later and she had only seen her parents and sister a handful of times since moving back to Atlanta. Something was definitely going on with them, but she was on the outside of the circle. It seemed like the minute she took over the restaurant was the minute they cast her out. They had warned her against taking it and once she went against their wishes, it was almost like she was dead to them. If it hadn’t been for the holidays, she wouldn’t even know they were still alive. With all of that playing in her head, she was bound to flock to Damien. He was the only one to support her in her time of need.

  When she rejoined the church, she came in contact with Damien, and he shared all he knew about business with her. Introducing her to his contacts in the business world, they bonded as he helped her revive the restaurant. At first, he was just lending a helpful hand and then something happened to s
park his feelings for her. She wasn’t sure what flipped the switch for him, but one night, after talking over some plans for the restaurant, he came to see her in her office, and it went crazy from there.

  ***

  “You should change the name, Dray. Make it something that fits you.”

  “I don’t think I should do that, it’s not really mine. I’m just here until—”

  “Until what? No one else is coming to save the day, baby girl. It’s all on you, and it is yours. Make your name count.”

  Rubbing her shoulders he slid her down in her chair, attempting to relax her. While it was working, she still felt like she was carrying the weight of the world. Her life had drastically changed over the past few months, and she wasn’t sure all of this was for her.

  Growing up, she had never dreamed she would be running a business, but here she was, back in Atlanta all alone, well, except for Damien. He had really been a godsend and she couldn’t be more grateful. At least he had her back, considering everyone else had left her hanging.

  Thinking it over, she raised her head and looked him in the eye. “I should, huh?”

  “Yes.” After patting her on the back, he headed towards the door, only to have her call out to him. “Yeah, Dray?”

  “Thanks. I really appreciate you. You’ve really had my back these past few months.”

  “It was all you.” After saying his peace, he opened the door and Draya went back to back to what she was doing. So many nights they had spent countless hours together and each time, he would leave and sit in his car until she left. He was protective of her, she would give him that, but sometimes she felt like she didn’t need it.

  “Damien,” she called out, gathering his attention.

  “Yeah?”

  “Go home. Deena is probably wondering where you are. Kiss the girls for me.” Offering her a smile, he nodded his head and then his cell phone went off. Looking down and answering, Damien took on a look and Draya just watched as his demeanor changed. Walking over to stroke his hand, she was startled when he shut the phone off and her back was against the wall.

  Breathing heavily, Draya, tried to brace herself but his arms went out around her, and she couldn’t move. There was no escape from what he obviously wanted, and she had an idea what she was in for. She was sure he had no clue what he was aiming to take away from her. She had thought of him that way, but it was only a fantasy. She knew his situation and his involvement in the church would prevent anything from happening. Now, she was looking at him like a man that could tear down her walls and snatch something important; her virginity.

  Taking in another deep breath, she closed her eyes and she could feel his breath on her cheek. “What are you doing?”

  “You want me, Dray?”

  Looking into his eyes, she saw a vulnerability she had never witnessed before in him. He looked so unfocused, but she could tell he really wanted her. His lips were so close to her neck that she could feel goosebumps appearing. This wasn’t how she planned to spend her first night with a man, but the pull was just too strong to deny.

  “I can’t... we can’t. You’re—”

  “I’m here,” he cut her off. “I’m here with you right now. Doesn’t that count? Don’t we count? Don’t tell me you can’t feel it.” Draya would have loved nothing more than to tell him, she didn’t feel it, but she would be lying through her teeth. He was the only person in her corner, and the only one to make her laugh when the world began to feel like it was on her head. Truthfully, she would have given anything to be with a man like him, and here he was, offering her what she truly needed but would never ask for. She knew she wasn’t raised this way. She wasn’t supposed to want a man that belonged to someone else.

  “It doesn’t matter. We can’t be anything, we will never be anything.” Dipping her head to hide the tears that were emerging, she was surprised when he lifted it. Looking at her for a second, she saw his lips descending and swallowed hard. This was going to be so wrong, she knew this, but there was nothing she could think to do about it. Everything was beginning to jumble together.

  When their lips finally touched, the electricity was startling. Pressing himself against her and the wall, Damien deepened the kiss and Draya could feel the full extent of his need for her. Wrapping her legs around him, he pressed harder into her, and she felt the air leaving her lungs. Things were getting too intense and in a moment of clarity, she threw her hands on his chest, only to have him reach down between them, ripping her panties. Panting for air, Draya, made him drop her feet. Allowing her a little space, he stepped back running his hand over his head.

  “My bad, Dray. If you’re uncomfortable, I get it. But know I’m leaving her. It was already in the works but now... I’ll do it right now.”

  Reaching for his cell, he pulled it up, and removing her hand from her swollen lips, she made a move that forever altered them. Taking the phone from his hand, she laid it on the desk and shook her head. “Not for me. I won’t be the reason.” Before she could make a move, she looked around and he was on his knees, pushing her back on the desk. “Damien, what...” before she could execute her sentence, his tongue crept out, tickling her sensitive flesh. “Uuhh,” her head flew back and one of her fingers found it’s way into her mouth. Biting down hard, she tried to keep herself calm.

  Swirling his tongue around her, he dug his fingers deeper inside her, making her continue to squirm. Her body had never felt anything as good as this and just as quickly as it began, all of her resolve flew out of the window. She knew what they were doing was wrong, but she couldn’t stop any of it. They were too involved to turn back now.

  Pulling her closer, Damien spread her legs further apart and slid his hands between them, running his fingers over her shivering walls. “You can say you don’t want me, but I know it’s a lie. As soon as I make you cum this way, I’m going to show you what a real man is working with. Tell me you want me, Dray. Just say it.”

  “I...” slamming her eyes shut when his tongue slid over her, she fell back once again, running her hands over her breasts.

  “What’s that, baby?”

  “I want it, but...please, just go slow.” Running his tongue over her one last time, she felt everything shudder and he sat up with a look of amazement on his face. It was as if it was finally clicking for him what she was saying. Pulling her up on the desk, he positioned himself between her legs and ran his hands down her arms. Taking a deep breath, he let out a loud sigh and closed his eyes tight.

  “Are you... have you ever... have you had sex before?” Looking away, embarrassed, Draya shook her head no and tried to duck her face. Grabbing her chin, making her look at him, he tilted her head back and kissed her gently on the lips. “Don’t be ashamed.”

  “I know what you must think about me. You probably think I’m acting like a child and that I’m so inexperienced, but I... I wanted to wait for the right man.”

  “And you think that’s me?”

  Looking at him and feeling a smile appear; she nodded her head, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I think you could be in time. You’ve been there for me when no one else was, and you’ve been my friend. I know there is an age difference and that you’re married, but saying there is nothing between us would be a lie. I won’t lie to you.”

  “I won’t lie to you either,” he pulled her closer. “I want to do this, but I want it right for you.” Pulling her from the desk and to her feet, he leaned in, kissing her forehead. “Tomorrow night, just be ready at seven and I’ll pick you up at your house.”

  “What are we going to do?”

  “I’m going to make it magical for you. You deserve to have the best night, and you will. I’m not going to let your first time be in a dark office on a desk. You’re special, Dray. I’m willing to shake up my life for you and you’re going to have the best.”

  Feeling tears slip down her face, Draya looked around her gloomy office and exhaled. She wanted him, she could admit that much, but she knew their actions
were going to ruin a lot of lives. She couldn’t be this selfish. She couldn’t let him go through with what he was saying; she wouldn’t break up their family. Instead of agreeing, she walked out of the office, quietly holding in her answer and got in her car. She got all the way home, and fell onto her couch and sobbed quietly to herself. Relaxing into the pillows, she found comfort in the thought that she had done the right thing. She was content for over an hour until she heard a knock on her door. Swinging it open, she couldn’t help the smile that made its way across her features. It had to be the sweetest thing she had ever seen. Stepping aside, she let him in.

  “Close your eyes, make a wish, and blow out the candle light.” He held out a lit candle stick for her and placed a large bouquet of lilies, her favorite flowers, in her hand.

  “What are you doing?”

  “We’re celebrating.”

  “Celebrating what?”

  “Everything, anything.” Taking her hand, he led her to her room and ran her a hot bath. After that, he spent the night making her his and gave her a night she would never forget. It was that night that she realized that she loved him. It was that night that made every night afterwards livable, no matter how much of an ass he became. Every time she found the courage to leave, that first perfect night played in her head, and she felt stuck. He was all she knew.

  ***

  Looking in the mirror, Draya ran her hand over her red cheek and sighed. Pulling out her makeup bag, she went through her usual routine of covering up the evidence of his ongoing abuse. Sometimes the spots were much bigger, so this time, she felt lucky that all she was going to need were a few dabs of concealer and foundation.

  Sweeping the makeup brush over her otherwise flawless caramel cheeks, she let out a sigh when she heard her front door open and close. Struggling to get the mark hidden, she was almost there when she heard Brittney’s loud, bubbly voice. “Come on, Draya. You know I’m ready to go.” In the middle of all the madness, Draya had forgotten she had promised to go to the gym with Brittney. They had been doing the Insanity workout for over three months now, and although Draya was committed, Brittney was much more enthusiastic than she was.